Updated: Nov 16
By: McKenna Leavens
We all know that one couple. They break up almost every other week but somehow manage to get back together.
This begs my question of “Why do some of us get back with someone we once broke it off with?”
Do we do it because we think that it’s meant to be or because it makes us feel comfortable?
Meeting someone you have a connection with is rare. When we are able to find this connection, we become comfortable with the person.
They become our best friend —someone we can trust and be ourselves with. Once this person is gone due to the “breakup,” some may feel a sense of loss and discomfort.
A lot of people cannot reconcile these feelings, and may jump back into what’s comfortable, even though it might not be what’s right.
Personally, I think one major issue with today’s couples is no one wants to stick around when things get hard.
News flash, relationships aren’t always rainbows and butterflies. They can be tough and are hard work. So, if you aren’t ready for that, then don’t get into one.
Breaking up with your significant other has become an easy solution to fights, when in reality that should be the last resort.
I dated this guy back in high school, and we broke up at least once a month. It was absolutely ridiculous.
It wasn’t like I kept going back because he was my everlasting, true love — I was just comfortable. He was someone I knew really well, trusted and I was infatuated with him at the time.
I know it sounds harsh but it’s the truth. I was stuck in this constant cycle of breaking up, getting back together, being in love, hating each other, fighting, and not fighting.
It was toxic, but it was what I knew and I got used to it.
Breaking that three-year cycle was extremely difficult. It took a major life-changing event for me to realize that this is not what love is. It was what being comfortable looked like.
My most recent relationship was the complete opposite. We may have had our ups and downs, but breaking up was never a part of fights.
Instead, we asked “how we can fix and get past this?”
When things came to an end, I had a really hard time accepting it. I fought for him harder than ever before. I soon realized I had to stop fighting for people who never fought for me and start fighting for myself.
It’s definitely way easier said than done but worth it.
I started to recognize a trend within myself. I kept going back to toxic men because they were comfortable, and I was so terrified of feeling alone.
Once I accepted when relationships were really over, I came to terms with the fact that I’m actually okay alone.
In fact, I’m better than okay. I’m the happiest I have been in years, but this feeling definitely did not happen overnight. It took a lot of tears and soul-searching.
If I can leave you with one piece of advice, it would be to stop having hope for the people who once left you hopeless.
The saying, “If it’s meant to be it will be,” is such BS. If it’s meant to be, then it would have been.
Be smart enough to know the difference between true love and just being comfortable with someone. Be brave enough to let go and wise enough to know when someone is worth holding onto.