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Growth and Reflection in 2020

Updated: Nov 16, 2023

By McKenna Leavens

I use to be a believer in unlimited chances. I use to let people screw up over and over again and hope that next time they will get it right.

This way of living can be rewarding… but only when that person ACTUALLY gets it right. Recently I have noticed that no one is getting it right.

The best advice I have ever received was, “when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

Let me tell ya, it’s not easy to follow this advice especially when I continuously try to see the good in others- even when I know there’s no good left.

Recently I have been trying to take this advice and apply it to my life because I keep getting hurt and the only person to blame is myself.

I keep letting people into my life who really don’t deserve to be there anymore, I keep trying to shrink down to someone I used to be, in order to allow others to feel special.

Well, I’m sure as hell NOT doing that anymore. Being home over break has made me realize how much I have outgrown my old self.

It has made me realize how much I settled in the past for mediocre things and relationships.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful for all of my past experiences, they have shaped me into who I am today- but they are in the past for a reason.

I have a bad habit of trying to rekindle things from my past when they are really just meant to be there as a lesson.

I have settled for guys that do not treat me right, I have settled for guys who don’t communicate but most importantly I have settled for guys who I had to teach how to love me.

You should NEVER have to teach someone how to love you, you should be with someone who loves you effortlessly.

Coming into the new year I have made a promise to myself; I will NOT settle for anything less than I deserve.

I will NOT go back to old relationships because they are “comfortable” and I sure as hell will NOT let anyone hinder my growth. This year is all about me and what I am capable of.

This year I will be selfish and unapologetic for who I am.

I hope that you all find yourself this year and allow time for reflection.

Look back at 2019 and see what went wrong and why it went wrong.

Take responsibility for your actions and forgive yourself for your wrongdoings.

Get out of your toxic relationships and friendships, life is too short to put up with people who treat you like you are disposable.

But most importantly BELIEVE someone when they show you who they are and don’t waste your time trying to mold them into someone you want them to be.

If they weren’t good for you last year I promise you they won’t be good for you this year- learn from your mistakes.

Happy New Year to all of you lovely people, I hope you all find peace within yourselves and allow happiness when it comes your way.


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