How To Communicate About Communicating
By: McKenna Leavens
Imagine sending out a risky text, spilling all of your feelings to the person you’re crushing on and getting absolutely no response… most of you don’t have to imagine this. For most of us this happens, all the time.
In my opinion, communicating takes maturity and the ability to be vulnerable with someone, hence why more women tend to be ghosted than men. Most women thrive off of the ability to talk about their feelings and be vulnerable with someone they have a connection with; on the flip side, men couldn’t be more opposite.
How do we solve this problem? How do we as women communicate our feelings without always being ignored or afraid of the possibility of being ignored? Well, that’s something I’ve been trying to figure out myself. I can remember two distinct times this has happened to me, and each time hurt just as much.
The second time happened recently. I was talking to this guy and things were going really well, at least that’s what I thought, and then one day he just stopped replying. I was confused and upset over it so I did what I always do and I communicated these feelings with him, explaining how I was confused and that I just wanted honesty.
Well, I bet you can guess what happened next… he never replied. That day I felt discouraged and sad, and I told myself I was done communicating my feelings with people who aren’t going to communicate back.
Being able to communicate how you feel and why you feel that way is an amazing gift and we need more people like that in the world. If someone ghosts you, it’s their loss for not getting the chance to know you; and if someone blatantly does not reply to a message where you decided to be vulnerable that’s not a reflection of you, that’s a reflection of them and their inability to be vulnerable with others.
My advice to all 59% of you is to continue to communicate those feelings and don’t ever let anyone make you question your gift of being able to be open with someone. We’ve all been hurt and embarrassed but what really matters is your resilience to it all.
Don’t dwell over the people who make you feel stupid for being vulnerable, instead thank them because in the end the communicators always win.
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