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How To Not Make the First Date the Last Date

Updated: Nov 20, 2023

By: Mckenna Leavens

Bad first dates are nearly impossible to avoid. You either meet someone who is a bachelor/bachelorette or fresh off of a breakup.

I’ve been on a handful of bad dates and according to TheChicDaily’s poll, 63% of you have also had some pretty rocky first encounters.

No matter the outcome, I personally love first dates. You get the opportunity to share yourself with someone else for the night — no prior expectations or judgments made. During a first date, you get to be whoever you want.

However, what makes a first date bad? What do girls look for on a first date? Well, I can tell you from personal experience I look for two things, conversation, and chemistry.

When I say conversation I don’t just mean the ability to hold one because a lot of us can but I want someone who is a good listener and is involved in the conversation; this means showing compassion and empathy.

I have been on so many dates where I am the only one asking the questions, by the end, I could write a whole book about their life, yet they don’t even know my last name.

Tip: Make sure you are asking about their life and their interests and hobbies if you don’t do that then what’s the point of even going on the date in the first place?

Having chemistry is a tricky one. If you’re anything like me, it takes a lot to have chemistry with someone, but I can always tell by the first date if there is a possibility for a relationship or not.

I am a true believer in “butterflies” and the “sparks.” There’s a lot of debate about kissing on a first date and I say who cares; read the situation. For example, I went on a date a couple of years back and as I was walking up to my date to introduce myself he grabbed me and kissed me. He was obviously not reading the situation at all. You can probably guess how that date ended…

I also went on a date a couple of months back where this guy was asking me questions and taking the time to actually get to know me. At the end of the date, we kissed goodnight and I could feel the chemistry — he definitely read the situation.

There is such a false perception of how a first date is supposed to go. Movies and books have made all these rules like you’re not supposed to talk about your ex or anything remotely personal that might scare the other person away. I agree with some of these but it is important to always put your best foot forward. You should share things that make you who you are.

Definitely do not sit there and go through the whole rundown of why you and your ex didn’t work — save that for the third or fourth date. But if the topic comes up, don’t hide from it. Be honest and open, turn it into a positive conversation about how you grew from the breakup.

Bad first dates are a part of the dating process. A lot of us decide to give up after a bad first date. Our hopes are crushed and we convince ourselves that the idea of dating sucks. When in reality dating can be exciting and eye-opening if we open our hearts to it.

Tip: be yourself on a first date, be totally open to the fact that the date might go bad or might go insanely good. The more you open up to people, the better chance you have to get the same in return.

If a date goes bad, then at least you have a funny story to tell. If it goes well, then who knows, maybe you’ll meet the love of your life.


What was the worst first date you’ve ever been on? Let us know on Twitter and Instagram!

Reach the writer on Instagram


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