Updated: Nov 16
By: McKenna Leavens
Whenever I go on social media, I see someone bashing or “exposing” their ex in some shape or form.
If this person hurt you so badly through an awful and unforgivable act, why are you taking the time out of your day to waste more time and energy on someone who clearly does not deserve it?
Trust me, I understand how the anger and sadness after a breakup can sometimes result in out of character actions.
But imagine, if instead of acting out on our emotions right away, we take a step back, breathe and give it an hour before we do anything rash.
That’s something that really helped me when I went through my breakup. I had a ton of emotions 24/7 and instead of acting on every single one, I waited an hour. After that was over, I considered if reaching out or being upset still mattered or was even worth it anymore.
Acting impulsively can create more problems than you already have, so wait it out.
If you have been cheated on or disrespected in any way, going on social media and exposing your ex for doing these awful things WILL NOT make them less awful.
If anything you are just feeding into their ego. Why stoop down to their level? Saying evil and mean things about them makes you just as “awful” as them.
You’re continuing to give them attention that could be put elsewhere. Whatever happened in your relationship, keep that between the two of you.
What’s the point of a breakup if we can’t grow and learn from it?
Take time to look back on the relationship — learn where it went wrong and why it did. Taking full responsibility for the things that you have messed up on is something a lot of us tend to avoid when in reality we all have things we need to work on.
A lot of us tend to avoid this because we think we can do no wrong. In reality, we all have things to work on.
Accept that maybe you weren’t the one for them, and they aren’t the one for you. It’s difficult to look at the logistics of things — sometimes it’s as simple as you didn’t make each other happy anymore and your relationship ran its course.
Don’t make it more complicated than what it really is—that’s just your emotions talking.
You don’t have to be BFFs with your ex but if you respected one another during the relationship then you should continue to respect each other after.
I’m not perfect by any means, but I would never bash my ex on social media or voice how awful he is—because first of all, he’s not awful and second of all, he’s someone who I truly respect and wish the best for.
Even though things didn’t work out with him, I want him to be happy. Holding onto anger and hatred of your ex will only make things worse on you NOT them. He taught me a lot of valuable lessons and I will forever be grateful for him.
Instead of telling your ex everything they did wrong, thank them for everything they did right, you guys are broken up, there’s nothing left to fight about.
This is all easier said than done and is very circumstantial for most of us, it’s important to be the bigger person. With everything going on in the world today, we could all use some kindness.
Always put your best foot forward and choose what will make you feel better.
The process of moving on starts when you stop blaming them and you start looking at how you can learn from the pain — put your energy toward bettering yourself, not bashing your ex on Twitter.
The most important piece of advice I can give is to forgive those who hurt you — not forgiving them builds up so much unnecessary anger and resentment, but most importantly forgive yourself. Holding anger and resentment only makes the situation worse.
We all make mistakes and we all do things that hurt others, but it’s how we learn and grow from it that matters the most.