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To Settle Down or to Mess Around?

Updated: Nov 15, 2023

By McKenna Leavens

99% of the reason why we get our feelings hurt is due to our expectations not being fulfilled. We are always asking either too much or too little of people. 

We meet a guy or a girl and expect the date to go well or the first kiss to be magical and when those things don’t happen we are back at square one, hoping and praying that maybe this next date you’ll meet the one.

We go into things with expectations, when in reality we should have NO expectations because nine times out of 10 you’ll go on the date, have an okay time, kiss at the end of the night, and realize that no number of dates or meaningless kisses with strangers will make you feel better.

At the end of the day, we have zero control over meeting our soulmate. We have no say in when and where it’s going to happen. Falling in love, staying in love, it’s not something that happens every day, so when it does, accept that gift.

I am 20-years-old writing about love as if I know anything about it. I have two high school relationships to show and those both harmed me more than they helped me. I was the girl who didn’t know when to let go; and now I’m the girl who doesn’t know when to hold on.

There have been some pretty amazing guys that have come into my life this past year, probably guys that were really good for me… probably the epitome of what a healthy relationship looks like, but I turned them away time and time again.

I REFUSE to settle down with anyone until I know in my heart that I won’t just fall in love with them, but I’ll stay in love. So until then I’ll go on meaningless dates and have meaningless makeouts, in hopes that one day at some point I’ll go on a life-changing date and have a magical makeout.

My advice is to stop trying to control your love life. Let people go who no longer want to be a part of your story, and don’t let anyone in unless you WANT to.

Be honest with yourself, don’t just say yes to the first guy who comes your way. Whoever you choose to be with is lucky, don’t forget that.

You deserve someone who fought to find you. So I’m going to choose to mess around, and maybe one day at some point I’ll settle down.


Are you someone who knows when to let go or someone who continues to hold on? Let us know on Instagram, Twitter, or leave a comment!

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